A new book.

She leaned against the dirty walls with obscene posters pasted all over them. She could see herself in a couple of them but, she deliberately looked away. She couldn’t stand to look at those, they disgusted her, made her feel dirtier than she already did. So instead, she focused all her attention on the thing resting peacefully on her lap, looking so cozy, so innocent, totally unaware of the kind of people it was surrounded by. She refused to call the thing a baby, she couldn’t grasp the fact that someone as dirty, as filthy as herself could give birth to something so precious, a life.

For the past 8 months all she’d thought about was having a baby meant having a more steady income when it started growig up but now, now she felt disgusted at the thought. It was nauseating. How could she bring this bundle of innocence into the monstrous world she lived in? She marvelled at it, how tiny its fingers and toes were. How beautiful it looked. How much it resembled its father. She remembered him. How could she not? He was so different than most who came there. She was the one who tempted him, lured him in and in the end he couldn’t resist. How she thanked him for it! As she got a better look at the baby girl’s face, she knew she wouldn’t let her get involved in this filth, come what may.

She remembered her own childhood. She remembered how her own mother had pushed her in a room with a middle-aged man and locked the door behind her. Refusing to hear her pleas and cries, refusing to look at the hatred written so clearly on her face. She was only 13. Her whole life was wasted. She felt so dirty, so disgusted that she couldn’t even stand to look at herself in the mirror. Now, when she looked at the baby and saw glimpses of herself in her face, her heart clenched. She knew her life would never be the same after that day.

She’d be a good mother to her child, it wasn’t a thing. The world had given her a chance, very few were lucky enough to get that and she wasn’t one to give up on opportunities. She wouldn’t be the kind of woman her mother was. No, history wouldn’t repeat itself. She’d regain her respect and make sure her daughter grew up to be a respected woman.

When the morning light shone through the mouth of the alley, she hugged the precious bundle close to her chest and stood to move with a feirce determination on her face. She promised to leave her past behind, promised to never look back. For the first time in 14 years, there was a genuine smile on her face and as she passed by the people on those streets, they looked up at her with something akin to respect in their eyes. She held her baby closer as silent tears streamed down her face and whispered, “Hope. You’re hope. My Hope.”

She’d not only finished a chapter but an entire book. That was a new day that would be written on a new page in a new book.

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Breaking Time.

Breaking time,
One second,
One minute,
One moment.
The moment’s gone.

Chasing lies,
Hiding from the truth.
Resisting the good,
Embracing evil.

Take a moment,
Take a moment to see me,
To know me from within.
Take a moment before it’s gone.

Breaking time.
A second,
A minute,
A moment.
Time flies away.

A hidden beauty,
The kind that’s never seen,
Never known,
Only felt.

Break time.
One second,
One minute,
One moment.
Stop.

Take a breath,
Take this moment,
Take me.
I’m yours.

Turn to me,
See those shadows,
The depth,
Know me the way nobody ever has.

Naturally graceful,
Incredibly powerful,
A sweet melody that plays,
Says take the moment before it’s gone.

Breaking time.
One second,
One minute,
One moment.
Move.

Take me along,
We’ll break time,
Catch the moment.

Walk the path,
Hand in hand.
You and I,
Two beating hearts,
Gradually becoming one.

Each second,
Each minute,
Each moment.
Hold it,
Together.

You and I,
Caged by
Ticking clocks.
The exit’s blocked.

Do it,
Catch the moment.
Hold me, hold it,
Break time.

Sprout wings,
Let’s fly.
The time’s broken,
Do not cry.

Our second,
Our minute,
Our moment.
Broken time.

One last time.

What would you say if I promised I’m the same?
Would you love me for one last time?
I won’t complain, I won’t whine,
Just like those old days.

Those shadows have returned to haunt me,
And I’m back to being my vulnerable self.
So, tell me what would you say if I promised I’m back?
Would you love me for one last time?

Around every corner that I turn,
I see those familiar silhouettes leaning against the grimy walls.
I feel the fear creep in.
And then comes the harsh laughter like a kick to my gut.

What would you say if I promised I haven’t changed?
Would you love me for one last time?
Hold me in your arms, whisper sweet-nothings,
Just like those old days.

Maybe it’s just my mind playing tricks, maybe not.
Maybe it’s just the fear making me move, maybe not.
So, tell me what would you say if I promised I need you?
Would you love me for one last time?

The clock is ticking away,
The walls are closing in.
Seeing things through a knotted rope,
The world seems different, it looks new.

What would you say if I promised I’ll go away?
Would you love me for one last time?
Look at me in that special way,
Just like those old days.

What would you say if I promised I’m the same?
I want you to love me for one last time.
One last day.
Take me away.

Living in Fairytales.

Pixies and Fairies,
Childhood memories.
Dragons and Trolls,
Falling down in rabbit holes.

Unicorns and Monsters,
Imaginary Fosters.
Giants and Dwarfs,
Magically woven scarves.

Angels and Elves,
Into those fairytales we delve.
Climbing violet hills to tame a Gryphon,
Flying on its back, into the setting sun.

Debauched Kings and Debonair Princes,
Evil Stepmothers and happy-go-lucky Princesses.
Damsels in distress with their Knights in shining armor,
Shimmering ball gowns, exuding glamour.

Horse-ridden carriages,
Lilies and roses.
At the stroke of midnight,
Turn back to rats and pumpkins.

Dancing trees and fairy lights,
We search for euphoria that never comes.
Under sleeping spells and delusive charms,
We move through it unharmed.

Living in corny fairytales,
Trying to forget our life’s outcome.
Cliches we see everywhere,
Where one goes, the other follows.

Our life, a set of kaleidoscopic scenes,
Ever-changing and inconsistent.
Here comes the crashing reality,
Breaking spells and wrecking dreams.

The journey

With every thought of walking that path, I froze,
Melted a bit though, I got up and completed that prose.
Surrendered, gave up, a feeling of being lost felt somewhere in the winds,
A beautiful imagery, a dreamt reality, I foresaw ahead.

Willed myself to move forward, one step at a time,
Almost gave up, as the fear of losing embraced my heart.
But, I let myself be soothed by the chirping birds and wind that chimed,
Took another step towards the sunshine filled pot and the rainbow coloured cart.

Amidst the sunshine, amidst the moonlit night, I walk a bit stray,
A shiny path which lures me and distracts me from the earthy bay,
Today I feel a bit confident and strong to fight,
Prepared I am with an enormous spirit and light..

As I take another step, I feel myself wavering,
But then, I look up to see the shiny moon and the twinkling stars,
And with confident strides I move a bit far.

Distance, I never measured,
Wait, I always treasured.
Somehow I fell, somehow I carried myself to that end of the tunnel.
I found solace in the eternal endless ecstatic epiphany,
An ounce of Hope.

Taking in my surroundings, I heave a sigh of contentment,
I’ve reached the end of my journey.
The journey from plain white walls to rainbow coloured carts,
The journey from emptiness to solace,
The journey from dreams to reality.

Something that I and @Gods_Evangelos wrote together. 🙂

The Realization…

“When gravity pulls and that direction is the same as the one you’re currently travelling, it’s difficult not to admit you’re falling. The loud splat at the end is a dead giveaway.”- Her favorite quote this was. Maybe because her life agreed with it. She liked him and he liked her back. It was only a matter of time before she realized she was falling for him. Falling harder than she ever had. And, the erratic and wild beating of her heart when around him was a dead giveaway.

Love. It was a strange feeling and it was alien to her. But that was back then. Today, 7 years after the realization, 7 years of spending the most beautiful moments of her life, did she realize what true love meant. That coffin, his coffin, it taught her what it meant. The hollow in her heart couldn’t be misunderstood.